What part of "pass PRO.1 cup++, please" is so hard to understand?

Of the precious few time I am ever excessively pleased to know that I was wrong, this probably tops the list.

I feel sort of disgusting, though. I'm not really up for a cold shower, because I'm afraid it'll trigger the chills, and my temperature has been too high for the last three days to safely take a shower without collapsing.

But between burning up with the fever, and then fucking freezing with the chills...sweating and shivering...I feel grimy and disgusting. :(

With all of the symptoms, my heart sunk when it came to look like mono. Fucking A, you know? I don't have time for mono!

But the doctor confirmed that it wasn't strep throat, and that while it might have been mono, it's pretty unlikely. Also...how could I even get mono? It's possible, but still insanely unlikely.

Instead, it looks like a particularly nasty throat infection. This one, I can't even talk with. Words scrape along my throat like sandpaper, grating against my ears as they leave.

What else is strange? I've learned that I make noise when I sleep. Like little whimpering sighs. Scared the shit out me.

It's starts with music, I guess. There's always music. Even as I fall asleep, there's a song itching at the back of my mind. And I tend to grate everyone's nerves, because I sing. It's a physical compulsive urge, actually. I can resist it if I get in the habit of it, but it involves grinding my teeth and feeling generally miserable.

Anyway, halfway between sleep and consciousness, I could feel the music in my mind, and I guess the compulsive urge took over, because I could hear myself make a poor whimpering attempt at...something.

I don't know. But the sound was enough to wake me up completely, because it startled me that much. I didn't feel myself make the sound, so I made it again, feeling my vocal chords vibrate when I directly wanted to make it myself.

Do you know how disturbing it feels when your body does something without you telling it to? I knew how He felt when he told me about it before, but I didn't really want to experience it like that.

And I swear, it's been fucking 9:40 for the last five minutes. I would kill for a shower. And maybe an hour of sleep, if possible, but instead, I'll just down some of that Tussin crap (I don't think even a spoonful of sugar could make that shit go down in any kind of delightful way.) and mope a little bit more.

The worst part is? Not being able to talk. I swear there's nothing harder than getting a hearing person's attention without using sound.

I've been trying to teach everyone signs, but I guess they didn't care enough to pay attention, because even the really obvious ones they can't seem to understand. Not being able to talk is an easy thing to overcome if you already know some sign language.

But that doesn't really help at all if no one else knows how to sign. -_-