The things nightmares are made of.

My little brother is visiting. He's not a little terror like he was before, but right now, there are few things more horrifying than sharing a bathroom with him.

I don't give a fuck if you leave the seat up. That's fine. Really. I can handle that.

BUT PLEASE MAKE THE EFFORT TO LIFT THE SEAT IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE.

The seat being up is not half as bad as the seat being down, covered in piss. Do not enter my house, piss all over the toilet seat, and then leave it like that.

HOW HARD IS IT TO FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET?

Just reach, and pull. And in the same motion, would it kill you to pull the lid down? Just a suggestion.

PLEASE STOP PISSING IN MY SHOWER.

.....just....don't. Please. Why is there a yellow tinge on the bottom of my bath tub?

WHAT IS THAT BROWN STUFF ON THE FLOOR?!

...

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!

I am this close to just locking the bathroom door and telling you to just use the one downstairs. I am not your fucking maid. You are a guest in my house, and you are using my bathroom. While I might not be the cleanest of people, you are a fucking slob.

I'm not asking you to clean the bathroom, I'm just asking you to not make it worse. If you could just be like everyone else and lift the toilet seat, put it back down and flush, maybe then we could be proud of you enough to take you out in public.

I don't care if you don't have enough self-respect to at least keep your area clean, but it's not just about you. IT'S MY FUCKING BATHROOM.

I reserve the right to kick you out.

Not that that'll stop you. I know you aren't an idiot and you can pick a house lock like any other fucktard.

STILL.

SELF-RESPECT. GET SOME.